dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
