how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
