5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
