you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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