FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
