I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
