nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
