Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
You dont lie about slip and slides
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
