is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
