I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
