i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Randomize
