That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
