i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
