how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
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