Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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