I cannot find my penis.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'm too high and old for this...
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
