I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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