I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
