Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize