birth control should be required to get into college
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
