Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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