How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
