nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I got chris browned last night
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Randomize
