Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
