escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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