I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize