Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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