Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
