two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I fill condoms, not promises.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
