i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize
