can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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