So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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