She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
