Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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