i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
