i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
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