so explain again why im purple
no
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
