so that wasnt chicken after all
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize