When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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