I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Quick, to the slutcave!
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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