i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
