I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
i need some magic done to my vagina
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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