The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Randomize
