Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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