We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize