I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
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