just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
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