My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize