Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
