my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
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