I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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