Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
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