Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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