Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize