My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
