come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
